Hello, Welcome to YWS!!

First I must say that you write exceptionally well for your age. You made me see things that went far beyond John's life and then more. The descriptions and the sayings were beautiful but I'd like to see you play around with more words. Because when you describe the woman eating the apple, it gets bland. Make it more colorful! This piece, if it were to be painted, you'd have a collage of a rainbow. So take advantage of what you have and expand! Also, John was killed and then he turned into a spirit err beast? I'm not quite sure what the deal with him is. Maybe since Jonathan's familiar with the legends from his grandmother have a segment where we can hear his thoughts; you know, so that the reader can get a sense of understanding. I get the feeling that you're an avid reader and you love learning new things. Well if I'm wrong I'm wrong. The Latin was a nice touch because at first I thought that The Conundrum of Happiness was a good title but sense this was your first piece I decided I would give reading this a try and you didn't disappoint. This was excellently written but I think at some parts you kept the reader from finding out something about your mysterious MC.
Well if you make any major changes PM me,
Great Job and Keep Writing
-Angel